Second star to the right...

klfjds;pijksa

2007-07-24T07:20:57Z

~~Fuck.~~

We are what we believe.

2007-07-20T07:27:18Z

Heeey! There's two pictures here that I drew. I put them up because I actually like them. =]
Comments=<333

ceilingfan41 @ 2006-11-21T08:00:00

2006-11-21T12:00:33Z

Honestly?
If I died right now, I really wouldn't care.
Oh, yeah...me and Andy broke up.
It was bound to happen eventually.
But again...I don't know what to think about life anymore.
I'm doomed to a life as a hag.
Nobody likes me in that way, except for Andy.
And then there's the eternal question...
Will he ever move on?
Will I move on from my love?
And no, I don't mean Andy.

It's these things that get me.

*shrugs*
I've been having a lot of problems lately, physically and in my head.
Physically could be from lack of sleep, lack of appetite.
And in my head...I miss Florida. If I could give everything I have to go back in time to 8th grade I would go to Roosevelt.
But hell, I can't do that now. Or ever.
My life is crashing to a standstill.
On the bright side, I'm officially devoting myself to school.
When you have basically no friends you can count on in the state you live in, what else do you have to live for.
All I had was Andy, and that fizzled out for me.
I don't know, maybe it was the thought of someone new (or not so new)in my head, but that doesn't have a chance in the world.
I suck.
No, not like that.
And, maybe, if I could go back in time to that year and stay in Florida, things would be different.
I was happy in 6th grade, 7th, basically all of Elementary school. 8th grade started the depression, the cutting.
I can't say I wanted to die, or hurt you guys.
I just wanted the pain and loss to go away.
Ninth grade, I pretty much gave up on ever coming back, and tried to battle depression.
I was still depressed, just not as bad.
And the last few weeks before that school year was over, I met Andy.
Was that all a mistake?
I think it was.
If I fall in love one more time, and then lose it because of me, I don't know what I do.
Or maybe I've been in love this entire time, and I just didn't realize it.
Actually, that's exactly what happened.
*sighs*
It's stupid, and I need to let go of the past, but...I just want to say, if they can hear me and actually care, I love you.
And right now, I need them in my life.
But...it's hard.
Complicated.
I wish that my life never happened.
Not because I want to give up on people.
In honest truth?
I want them to give up on me.

ceilingfan41 @ 2006-11-11T04:02:00

2006-11-11T08:02:52Z

*stabs self repeatedly for accidentally closing out of the update that was writing*

Summary:
1. am thinking of attending the NCSA (north carolina school of the arts) due to the fact that there is no tuition (apparently) and that I have no friends! In NC, at any rate.
2. Met a pretty cool person at the 30STM concert who just so happened to be named Adam Alt, a member of an all drummer group that is friends not only with Jared and Shannon from 30STM, but with the used as well. And he gave me a button of his jacket. *squeals with fangirl delight*
3. Am reading and writing LP fiction again. Not that I am deviating from my Adrien/Lucien story, that sadly nobody (but my boyfriend) has read yet.
4. Am falling apart at the seams
5. Am missing Florida and it's inhabitants something fierce
6. Am sick of geeks that sit next to me in French telling me what CG'ing is. Fuckers.

And thus I am too cynical to post further, so I shall end this now. Good night, my fellow friends.

ceilingfan41 @ 2006-07-24T03:22:00

2006-07-24T07:22:23Z

they're here to see a fight to the death
and that's what they'll get
(they always get what they want)
her toes curl around the edge
as he screams, "No baby! No baby, please don't."
and she looks back one time
eyes brimming with liquid salt
and memories
in other words,
things she'd rather erase
thoughts she'd rather forget
notions she never should have believed
"I love you," he whispers
as her foot reaches out
and she stops, looks back
(though she knows she shouldn't)
"I love you too."
and he holds out his hand, but, oh, it's too late
"NO!" he cries as she topples over the edge
he runs after her and jumps off after her
wishing that the laws of gravity meant nothing
so he could catch her as she fell
but he hits the ground seconds later
and as his bones break
he thinks one last time
'I guess love doesn't work like it does in fairy tales'
and he shakily moves his right arm and intertwines their fingers
'But it's pretty damn close'

Woo-hoo, a fever

2006-04-29T19:53:39Z

So...I'm sick. Like...I dunno...Flu kinda sick. Rawr. I want candy. Like...Reese's. I took a shower today *yay*. And FUCK I can't type. Argh. I hate my life. *stabs self repeatedly*

Boys 1 & 2

1
he has a reputation for small talk
and watching soap operas
eating Ben & Jerry's on the couch
ever since they left
now all that's left of him
is an empty shell
running from all it's problems
as the spoon digs into the ice cream
and the boy leaves the girl on the screen

------------------------------------

2
he sighs and walks further down the street
tossing a few coins into a guitar case
they were in love
hell, they're still in love
so why did he leave?
maybe he was scared
to get a little closer
maybe he cared
what other people thought
but the moment's gone

ceilingfan41 @ 2006-04-27T17:21:00

2006-04-27T21:22:27Z

Hating the brief moments of akwardness
Sitting there, staring, not knowing what to do
You're always having to make the first move
Black-painted fingernails fumble on a zipper
As hands clench around bodies
That noise on those lips
Caused by your fingertips
And the friction of hips
Oh, the friction of hips
And the rustle of bedsheets
covered in sweat and
other things we dare not mention
though we dream about them at night
'This didn't happen' says their mind
But in yours, oh in yours
The deliverance is just right
No sleep tonight, no sleep tonight
Just thinking of what happened
To them it was a 'meeting of chance'
But to you it was the world

ceilingfan41 @ 2006-04-27T17:14:00

2006-04-27T21:19:45Z

Theirs is a typical story
high school sweethearts
known each other since Pre-k
they can't go a day without
talking on the phone twenty times
he's got all the perfect lines
to propose

but, oh wait! A tragedy!

coming home one night
theirs is a typical story
it was a party, a terrible party
both were sober (they don't drink)
when a drunk driver comes from nowhere
slams into them at an intersection
she screams, he's silent
she doesn't know why
until her terrified mind sorts it out
the truck hit the driver's side
the next day they find her in her bed
they couldn't go a day without talking

ceilingfan41 @ 2006-04-21T21:47:00

2006-04-21T23:58:51Z

Five things you PROBABLY didn't know about me( in caps since Lissa spelled it wrong ):

1. My life's necessities...amp and peanut butter.

2. I hate it when people praise me to try and make me feel better about myself. I don't need it, so don't bother. If I need to raise my confidence, I'll do it myself. Now, if you're just praising me because i deserve it, go ahead.

3. I cannot stand liars. I'm a huge one, I know, because I lie to everyone and myself. But we all know I hate myself, so nothing new there. Liars, though. They're posers, posers are them, and everyone hates posers. So why doesn't everyone hate liars? It's just an excuse to cover up a sad story or cover up a perfectly respectable one with a sad one. You're just hiding the truth, and it'll come out eventually.

4. I love a lot of people. Sometimes it may seem like I don't love them, because I tend to push people away when I'm with them too long, but that doesn't mean I don't love them anymore. I just happen to get anti-social after awhile <3.

5. I hate my life. I hate waking up to see the same four walls everyday and to go to the same school that i can't stand to see the same fake people. I hate living where I do, and never going over to anyone's house unless I'm in Florida, or at Chris's house. It sickens me, this life of monotony. Rawr.

So there...I wrote that on the thing that held my boarding passes in the airport.

I'm Just a Kid, and Life is a Nightmare

2006-04-13T19:39:32Z

I am so SICK of all of it. First of all, I fly out on FRIDAY, not SATURDAY. WTF EVER. Which means I can barely see people as it is. I feel so fucking worthless right now. My life is coming to a complete standstill while everyone else keeps on turning, and though it feels selfish to say this, that pisses me off. I feel like i'm not being included in anyone's life, and that isn't right. And my mom saying that I don't deserve to go to Florida? WhatEVER, I've been putting forth so much effort to do better in school and to help around the house, and my reward? To babysit, without any repayment! That pisses me off because it's fucked up, even if my little brother and cousin are family. Even 5 dollars would make me happy. But NO.

I'm so sick and tired of all these little wannabe-emo shits that would be lucky if they got even a LITTLE glimpse of what emo really is. They think whining about how much they hate their life and their parents are going to get them somewhere, and it DOES, which fucking sickens me. People pity them because of how bad their life is, when really it's just fine. They don't get constantly ridiculed for trying their best, or for messing up just a little bit. They're at least accepted by their family. They at least get their fucking way.
What the fuck EVER. I mean, come on people. People pretending to be emo is the same as people trying to be goth. No difference.

10 Things I Hate Right Now:

1. Boys
2. Love
3. Couples
4. Barking Dogs
5. PDA's
6. Babysitting
7. School
8. North Carolina
9. Cold Weather
10. Cultlike followings

Fuck, I should just become a lesbian.

ceilingfan41 @ 2006-04-05T14:02:00

2006-04-05T18:03:06Z

Alright...what's new?

Well...this is my first update in a while. I just haven't felt like there's anything to talk about. *shoots self in the head* We're watching this show called 'wonderfalls' on Logo, so of course it has to have a gay person in it. A lesbian, actually. Ah, well. Anyways...just so everyone knows, despite his assholeness, i still like aleck, but nothing is ever going to happen with us again. So that's what's up. We're done. Over. We're too different and he's hurt me so many times that I'm too afraid that he'll do it again. And Mike...*sighs* I still like him of course, but...I don't know. It's not like it matters, due to the 'no dating until 16' rule. However...you know i'd bypass it if i could. So Mike...if you ever feel like asking me out again, I'm here for you. It's not like my family has anything to worry about, since you're down in Florida. And...it's just a title. If you really get down to it, we might as well be going out already, since we're wearing the rings and basically talking to each other as if we were a couple. So why make it so confining? If people find out I have a boyfriend, guys especially, they'll all treat me completely different, and I'm comfortable with where I am now. So basically, I'm making no sense. What a surprise.

On a different yet the same note, some random guy flirted with me at the therapist's office. I was waiting for my mom to finish talking to the therapist, and this group of people came in and this guy sat down next to me and started flirting. Weird.

So...I think I'm going to go now. Random things:

1. I have a 'D' in Biology.
2. I am positively in LOVE with Caramel Peanut Butter Cups. *yum*
3. There are three reviews on my first fanfiction online. *squeals*
4. Life is good.
5. One more week! *almost* Fine, a week and a half.

*muah*

ceilingfan41 @ 2006-02-07T19:40:00

2006-02-08T00:43:18Z

BE HONEST~
Fill this out about me!!!
- - - - - - YES or N0

Ugly?:

Kind?:

Loud?:

Shy?:

Weird?:

Selfish?:

Ghetto?:

Crazy?:

Nice?:

Sexy?:

Mean?:

Immature?:

Rude?:

Cool?:

Stupid?:

Caring?:

Mature?:

A friend?:

More than a friend?:

Talkative?:

Boring?:

Hott?:

Creative?:

Smart?:

A flirt?:

A psycho?:

Athletic?:

Confusing?:

Sweet?:

Annoying?:

Funny?:

Hyper?:

Laid back?:

Perfect?:

- - - - - - iF Y0U C0ULD

Give me a new name. What would it be?:

Do one thing with me. What would it be?:

Drop me one piece of advice. What would it be?:

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

--DRAMA DORK--
[x] Ever been in a play?
[] Seen More than 10 Broadway shows?
[x] Have you ever been/Are you in school shows?
[] Does your current job involve theater in some way?
[] Want to end up working in/for theater
[] Can you recite all of the lyrics to your favorite play/musical?
[x] Do you break out into random songs whenever/wherever!!
Total [3]

--REDNECK--
[] Do you have a couch in your front yard or porch?
[] Do you drive a four-wheeler?
[x] Do you ride four-wheelers?
[] Do you like to get dirty in mud?
[] Do you like country music?
[] Do you have a broken car in your backyard?
[] Do you own a cowboy hat?
[x] Do you live on more then 1 acre?
[x] Do you have more then 4 different animals at your home?
Total [3]

--GOTH--
[x] Do you wear black eyeliner?
[x] Is most of your clothing dark?
[] Do you think about death?
[] Do you want to die?
[] Are you a social outcast?
[] Are you pale?
[x] Do you like Hot Topic?
[x] do you enjoy Tim Burton movies?
[x] Are you mean sometimes?
Total [5]

--SKATER/PUNK--
[]Can you skateboard?
[x] Do you wear Vans/Emerica/Etnies/any skate shoe?
[x] Do you do stupid stuff with your friends?
[] Do you watch the x-games?
[x] Do you have any piercing's?
[] you wear a mohawk?
[x] Do you wear Band T-shirts
[x] Have you called someone a poser recently?
Total [5]

--PREP--
[x] Do you say the word "like"?
[] Do you shop at Hollister/Abercrombie & Fitch
[] Do you pop the collar?
[] Do the people in Hot topic scare you?
[] Is the only nerd u like Seth Cohen?
[] Do you watch LAGUNA BEACH?
[x] Do you like pop music?
[x]Do you have a dog?
Total [3]

--HIPPIE--
[] Is your hair long?
[x] Do you own a tye-dye shirt?
[x] Do You want to save the animals?
[x] Do you think war is unnecessary?
[] Do you like classic rock and trippy music?
[x] Have you ever participated in a protest?
[x] have you ever been overcome with a desire to hug a tree?
Total [5]

--EMO--
[x] Do you cry often?
[x] Do you wear hoodies?
[x] Do you like soft music?
[x] Do people not understand you?
[x] Do you write your own poems?
[x] Ever dyed your hair red, black or dark?
[x] Do you cut your own hair?
[x] Are you lonely?
[x] Is Hawthorne Heights a good band?
Total [9]

--SURFER--
[] Do you surf?
[x] Do you wear flip flops year-round?
[x] Is your hair shaggy?
[] Do you wake up before 6 every morning?
[x] Do you own Many pairs of shorts?
[] Do you yearn for the smell of salt water?
[] Do you want to be at the beach right now?
[x] Do you hate tourists?
Total [4]

--GEEK--
[x] Do you wear glasses/find them sexy?
[x] Do you know what RPG or LARP stand for?
[x] Do you use obscure Sci-fi/ Fantasy movie referneces in every day conversation?
[x] Are you socialy inept?
[x] Are you on the computer often?
[x] Do you ever get picked on?
[x] Do you look forward to goin to school?
[x] Are you shy around the opposite sex?
[x] Do you play video games?
Total [9]

--JOCK--
[] Do you own alot of nike, addidas, or underarmor?
[] Do you love the smell of fresh cut grass?
[] Are you constantly worrying about being inshape?
[] Do you let people know its game day by yelling it throught the halls?
[] Do you play 2 or more sports?
[] You know alot of people just from playing a team sport?
[] You love grass stains, mud, and hurting people
[] A whistle blowing pumps ur addrenalin
[] Are you very school spirited?
Total [0]

Emo/Geek....so typical

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Leave your name and
1. I'll respond with something I like about you.
2. I'll tell you what song or movie reminds me of you.
3. I'll ask you a question.
4. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
5. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
6. I'll describe our final fight to the death.
7. If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal

ceilingfan41 @ 2006-02-07T19:34:00

2006-02-08T00:35:26Z

I. Action and Adventure
(x) .hack//SIGN
( ) Airmaster
( ) Battle Arena Toshinden
() Bleach
( ) Blood+
( ) Burst Angel
( ) City Hunter
(x) Cowboy Bebop
(x) Dragonball (any)
( ) Flame of Recca
() GetBackers
(x) Inu Yasha
( ) Lupin III (any)
( ) Mai-HiME
(X) Naruto
(x) One Piece
( ) Tenjou Tenge
(x) TRIGUN
(x) Saiyuki
() Yu Yu Hakusho

Total Here: 8/20

II. Comedy and Parody
( ) 2x2 = Shinobuden
( ) Adventures of the Mini Goddesses
( ) All Purpose Cultural Catgirl Nuku Nuku
( ) Azumanga Daioh
( ) Bokusatsu Tenshi Dokuro-chan
(x) Di Gi Charat
( ) Dragon Half
( ) Excel Saga
(x) Fruits Basket
( ) Galaxy Angel
( ) Here is Greenwood
( ) Kodomo no Omocha
( ) Kyou Kara Maou!
( ) Midori Days
( ) Pani Poni Dash
( ) Project A-ko
(x) Ranma 1/2
( ) Tenchi Muyo
( ) Those Who Hunt Elves
( ) Urusei Yatsura

Total Here: 3/20

III. Drama and Miscellaneous
( ) Beck
( ) Full Moon wo Sagashite
( ) Gankutsuou
( ) Genshiken
( ) Glass Mask
( ) Haibane Renmei
( ) Hitsuji no Uta
( ) Honey & Clover
( ) Kaleido Star
( ) Last Exile
( ) Le Portraite de Petite Cossette
( ) Monster
(x) Paradise Kiss
( ) Princess Mononoke
( ) Read or Die OVA
( ) Speed Grapher
( ) Twin Spica
( ) Weiss Kreuz
( ) Wings of Honneamise
( ) Yakitate!! Japan

Total Here: 02/20

IV. Ecchi/Mature
( ) Agent AIKa
( ) Cutey Honey
( ) Ebichu
( ) Golden Boy
( ) Grenadier
( ) Hand Maid May
( ) He Is My Master
( ) Iketeru Futari
( ) La Blue Girl
( ) Lingerie Senshi Papillon Rose
( ) Mahoromatic
( ) Mezzo Forte
(x) Miyuki-chan in Wonderland
( ) My Dear Marie
( ) Najica Blitz Tactics
( ) Negima
( ) Puni Puni Poemy
( ) Urotsukidoji: Legend of the Overfiend
( ) Wicked City
( ) Yumeria
( ) Level C

Total Here: 01/21

V. Fantasy and Supernatural
(x) Angel Sanctuary
( ) Aquarian Age
( ) Berserk
( ) El Hazard
( ) Final Fantasy Unlimited
(x) Fullmetal Alchemist
(x) Howl's Moving Castle
(x) Magic Knight Rayearth
( ) Mushishi
( ) Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind
( ) Record of Loddoss War
( ) Scrapped Princess
( ) Slayers
( ) Tales of Eternia
( ) Trinity Blood
( ) Tsubasa Chronicle
(x) Vampire Hunter D
( ) Violinist of Hameln
( ) Vision of Escaflowne
(x) X: TV

Total Here: 06/20

VI. Historical and Alternate History
( ) Anne of Green Gables
( ) Basilisk
( ) Barefoot Gen
(x) Chrono Crusade
( ) Grave of the Fireflies
( ) Fire Tripper
( ) Kaidomaru
( ) Legend of Condor Hero
( ) Millennium Actress
( ) Nadia - Secret of Blue Water
( ) Ninja Scroll
( ) Otogizoushi
(x) Peacemaker Kurogane
( ) Porco Rosso
( ) Rose of Versailles
(x) Rurouni Kenshin
( ) Samurai 7
(X) Samurai Champloo
( ) Steel Angel Kurumi
( ) Victorian Romance Emma

Total Here: 04/20

VII. Kids and Family
(x) Angelic Layer
( ) Astro Boy
(x) Beyblade
(x) Castle in the Sky
( ) Detective Conan
(x) Digimon
( ) Doraemon
(x) Hamtaro
(x) Kiki's Delivery Service
(x) Kimba the White Lion
( ) Monster Rancher
( ) My Neighbour Totoro
(x) Pokemon
( ) Samurai Pizza Cats
( ) Sazae-san
( ) SD Gundam Force
(x) Sonic X
( ) Speed Racer
(x) Spirited Away
(x) Yu-Gi-Oh

Total Here: 11/20

VIII. Magical Girls and Boys
(x) Cardcaptor Sakura
(x) DNAngel
( ) Earth Girl Arjuna
( ) Erementar Gerad
( ) Hime-chan no Ribbon
( ) Kamikaze Kaitou Jeanne
( ) Magic Users Club
( ) Magical Girl Pretty Sammy
( ) Magical Stage Fancy La La
( ) Mahou no Star Magical Emi
( ) Mahou Shoujo Lyrical Nanoha
( ) Mythical Detective Loki Ragnarok
( ) Ojamajou DoReMi
( ) Oku-sama wa Mahou Shoujo
( ) Pretear
(x) Sailor Moon
( ) Saint Tail
(x) Tokyo Mew Mew
( ) Ultra Maniac
( ) Wedding Peach

Total Here: 04/20

IX. Romance
( ) Ah! My Goddess
( ) Ai Yori Aoshi
( ) Air
( ) Ayashi no Ceres
( ) Boys Be
(x) Chobits
(x) Fushigi Yuugi
( ) Hana Yori Dango
(x) His and Her Circumstances (a.k.a.: KareKano)
( ) Kimagure Orange Road
( ) Kimi ga Nozomu Eien
(x) Love Hina
( ) Maison Ikkoku
(x) Marmalade Boy
(x) Peach Girl
( ) Piano
( ) Please Teacher!
( ) SaiKano
( ) To Heart
(x) Video Girl Ai

Total Here: 06/20

X. Science-Fiction
( ) Appleseed
( ) Blue Seed
( ) Bubblegum Crisis (any)
( ) Crest of the Stars
( ) Galaxy Express 999
( ) Gundam (any)
( ) Macross (any)
( ) Outlaw Star
( ) Patlabor
( ) Planetes
( ) Please Save My Earth
( ) RahXephon
( ) Saber Marionette (any)
(x) s-CRY-ed
( ) Soukyuu no Fafner
( ) Space Battleship Yamamoto (a.k.a.: Star Blazers)
( ) Stellvia
( ) Transformers (any)
( ) Voices of a Distant Star
( ) Xenosaga: The Animation

Total Here: 01/20

XI. Shounen-Ai and Shoujo-Ai
( ) Ai no Kusabi
( ) Descendants of Darkness
( ) Earthian
(x) FAKE
( ) Fish in the Trap
( ) Galaxy Fraulin Yuna
( ) Gravitation
( ) Haru wo Daiteita
( ) Kannazuki no Miko
( ) Kizuna
( ) Lesson XX
( ) Loveless
( ) Maria-sama ga Miteru
( ) Mirage of Blaze
( ) Oniisama E
( ) Seikimatsu Darling
( ) Song of the Wind in the Trees
( ) Sukisho
( ) Yami to Boushi to Hon no Tabibito
( ) Zetsuai/Bronze

Total Here: 01/20

XII. Sports
( ) Ace wo Nerae
( ) Ashita no Joe
( ) Ayane's High Kick
( ) Baki the Grappler
( ) Battle Athletes
( ) Buzzer Beater
( ) Captain Tsubasa
( ) Eyeshield 21
( ) Ginban Kaleidoscope
( ) Hajime no Ippo
( ) Hikaru no Go
( ) Initial D
( ) Major
( ) Monkey Turn
( ) One Pound Gospel
( ) Prince of Tennis
( ) Princess Nine
( ) Slam Dunk
( ) Suzuka
( ) Wild Striker

Total Here: 00/20

XIII. Surreal and Psychological
(x) Akira
( ) Betterman
( ) Boogiepop Phantom
( ) Elfen Lied
(x) FLCL
( ) Gantz
(x) Ghost in the Shell (movie or TV)
(x) Hellsing
( ) Jigoku Shoujo
( ) Karas
( ) Madlax
( ) Melody of Oblivion
(x) Neon Genesis Evangelion
( ) Noir
(x) Paranoia Agent
(X) Perfect Blue
( ) Princess Tutu
( ) Revolutionary Girl Utena
(x) Serial Experiments Lain
( ) Texnolyze

Total: 08/20

Grand Total: 49/261

I feel pathetic.

ceilingfan41 @ 2006-02-07T19:03:00

2006-02-08T00:03:39Z

Your Love Life Secrets Are

Looking back on your life, you will have a few true loves.

You've been deeply wounded in the past, and you're still recovering from that hurt.

You expect a lot from your lover - you want the full package. You tend to be very picky.

In fights, you speak your mind and don't hold back. You know you're right, and you can get quite angry about it.

You have a hard time ending relationships, even if the other person says it's over.

Your Love Life Secrets, Revealed

The Hair-Dye Incident

2006-01-31T23:47:50Z

Before

After

I like the brown.

ceilingfan41 @ 2006-01-23T18:29:00

2006-01-23T23:40:27Z

Hawwt Iconss by lilbrunettee929
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Movie Icon
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Cute Icon
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Quiz created with MemeGen!

What Icons are for you?(Thank you for #1!! Please check out my other Memes!!) by ladyallie
Username
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Your Love icon is...
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ceilingfan41 @ 2006-01-13T18:43:00

2006-01-13T23:48:14Z

1. Aleck worries me
2. I like Mike...*teehee, it rhymes*
3. I don't want to wait for three months...to go visit FL.
4. I put FMA on for the kids...XD I'm in the spirit and i'm wearing Joe's hoodie.

ceilingfan41 @ 2006-01-10T18:08:00

2006-01-10T23:11:38Z

1. Mom's making upside down pizza for dinner!
2. Grandma's taking a nap
3. I'm hungry...
4. ...foood...
5. Mom is angry at something about Aunt Di...T_T
6. I want Florida
7. I want BRX
8. *waves bye*

ceilingfan41 @ 2006-01-10T12:47:00

2006-01-10T17:47:44Z

Stephany was a good girl and did the dishes and cleaned the kitchen, including sweeping the floor. The living room is already pretty much cleaned, so all i can do there is clean the floor...but, I am taking time to write in my precious LJ, since my time on the computer as of late is pretty much...not there. Mom and Grams are at the grocery store and then they're going to pick up Aunt Di. *sigh*

So here's what's going on in my life right now...too lazy to write it all out.

1. Mike! *glomps the Mike*
2. Exams in a week...>_< I need to study.
3. Missed school today.
4. *above* means that i have a ton MORE studying to do since I missed EOC review.
5. I feel my friendship with Chris kind of...stopping. *shrugs* Whatever, it happens to us all.
6. I have to find a way to explain to Mom that I have a zero on a project. *sigh* Oh, well...the truth has to come out eventually.
7. Motion city soundtrack owns my soul. *glomps MCS* <3<3<3
8. We had a typical family fight yesterday, though I didn't participate. Need I point out that I never do?
9. There is a green ribbon tied around my head.
10. I WANT BRX! T_T I got the brochure today, and...*sniffle* I WANNA GO!! Marcy probably won't pay though.
11.

1. What is your name? Steph
>2. Birthday: 8-1
>3. Age: 14
>4. Sex: female
>5. Social security: ???
>6. Where do you live? T_T NC
>7 What school do you attend? WHHS
>8. Sibling? 1 brother
>9. Pets: 5 dogs, 8 cats, 1snake
>10. Zodiac Sign: Leo
>11. Righty or Lefty: righty.
>*********YOUR >>LOOKS*********
>12. Hair color: Pinkish blonde
>13. Eye color: Brown
>14. height: 5'4"
>15. Do u wear contacts or glasses? Glasses
>16. Do u have anything pierced? Ears
>17. Where do you want more if you do? I kinda...don't.
>18. Do you have a tattoo? No
>19. If so what and where? --
>20. Do you wear any rings? Two, one Chris got me and one of my mom's
>21. Do you have a certain fashion you follow? Oh, yes, I'm a total punk rocker XD
>**********JUST LATELY***************
>23. How are you today? Fabulous
>24. What pants are you wearing right now? Shorts...
>25. What shirt are you wearing? Light blue
>26. What kinda of underwear are you wearing right
>now and what do they look like? um....
>27. What does your hair look like at the moment? Tied back
>28. What song are u listening to right now? --
>30. How is the weather right now? Kinda cloudy, kinda sunny
>31. Last person you talked to on the phone? Mike
>32. Last Dream you can remember? Falling off of a balcony
>33. Who are u talking to right now? The computer
>34. What time is it? 12:31 pm
>*********More about YOU!**************
>35. What is the last digit of your phone number? 2
>36. If u were a crayon, what color would you be? green
>37. Have you ever almost died? Yes
>38. Do u like the person that sent this to you? Um...i kinda...found it
>39. How do u eat an Oreo? The middle first
>40. What's the next CD you are going to buy? Probably...actually, i dunno.
>41. What's the best advice ever given to you? I'm too young.
>43. have you ever won a special award? Yep
44.Worst sickness u ever had? Bronchitis, Strep, and an ear infection all at the same time. Or maybe food poisining.
>45. What's the stupidest thing u ever done? Chris...XD that could be taken the wrong way.
>46. if u could change one thing about yourself? I already do...*points at hair*
>47. Are you a crest kid? Wha?
>48. How many kids do you want to have? 0
>49. Son's name? Lucius *though I'm not having kids*
>50. Daughter's name? Sable *--*
>51. Do you do drugs? Erm...prescription?
>52. Do you drink? No...
>53. What kind of shampoo and conditioner do you use? whatever is in the shower.
>54. What sport do you hate the most? Basketball
>55. What are you most scared of? Liars
>56. How many TV's do you have in your house? 1
>57. Do you have your own? No
>58.Do you have your own phone line? No
>60. Have you ever broken/sprained/fractered bone? No
>61. What/Who do you dream about? A lot of stuff
>62. Who do you tell your dreams to? It depends on if I remember them.
>63. Who's the loudest friend you have? Chris
>64. Who's the quietest friend? Kitty
>65. Is cheerleading a sport? No, it's an excuse to clap your hands while jumping up and down.
>66. How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? One.
>67. Which came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken
************YOU and LOVE**************
>69. Do you have a crush? Um...isn't a crush a secret?
>70. Who is your crush? --
>71. Will you send this to your crush? --
>72. Where would you like to go on your honeymooon? Like I know.
>73.Whats's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? Hair, eyes, shoes...XD...shoes. *converse*
>74. Do you find yourself attractive? Not...especially.
>75. Do you find yourself ugly? "..."
>76. Do others find you attractive? Apparently
>**************ON GUYS FOR GIRLS TO FILL OUT >>(for
>girls only)*********
>77. Boxers or briefs: Boxers
>78. Curly or straight hair? Doesn't matter
>79. Tall or short: Taller than me
>80. Six pack or muscular arms? Doesn't matter
>81. Good or bad guys? Um...wha?
>82. Hat or no hat? Hat! <3<3<3
>83. tan or no tan? Doesn't matter
>84. Dimples or not? ...dimples?
>85. Stubble or neatly shaven: No stubble, no stubble!
>86 What sport should he play? None, preferably
>***********Pick One: THIS OR THAT**********
>109. Lights on/off? Off
>110. sun or rain? Sun
>112. Do u like scary or happy movies better? Either or.
>113. Backstreet Boys or NSYNC? Erm...
>114. On the phone or in person? Person
>115. Paper or plastic? Paper
>116. Sausage or pepperoni? Either or...
>117. Summer or winter? Summer and winter, either way i get to go to Florida.
>118. Hugs or kisses? Both
>119. Chocolate or white milk: White milk
>120. Root Beer or Dr. Pepper: Dr. Pepper
>121. Glass half full or half empty? Half empty *it means you get more*
>122. Tape or DVD: DVD
>123. Cats or Dog: Cat
>124. Mud or Jell-O wrestling? Mud...
>125. Vanilla or Chocolate: Vanilla
>126. Skiing or Boarding: Neither
>128. Cake or pie? Cake
>129. Sunset or sunrise? Sunset
>****************Your FAVS****************
>130. Color: Green
>131. Food: Pasta
>132. Fast Food? Subway
>133. Candy? Starburst
>135. Ice Cream Flavor? Vanilla
>136. Sport? None
>137. Animal? Cat
>138. number? 7
>139. Radio Station(s)? None
>140. Band? FOB
>141. Actor or Actress? Johnny Depp <3<3<3
>142. day(s) of the year? My birthday *presents!*
>143. Fav. month? August
>144. Tv show? FMA
>146. Scent? Peach
>147. Teacher? None
>148. Board Game? Scrabble
>149. Saying? Hmm....
>**************HAVE you EVER**************
>150. Drank? Kind of?
>151. Ever gotten dumped? No
>152. Broke the law? Not really
>153. Ran from the cops? No
>154. Stole something? Yes
>155. Run away? Tried to
>156. Eaten a bug? No
>157. Made yourself cry to get out of trouble? Yes
>***ONE FINAL NOTE*****
>158. Do you like filling this out? Um...
>159. How many people are you sending this to? just posting it.
>160. Do u want your friends to write back? Sure, why not.
>161. Why do numbers always get left off these
>thing? Huh?
>162. Who is most likely to respond? Kitty or Gio
>163. What is the first thing that comes to mind when
>u got this? SURVEY!!
>164.Any other comments? My teeth hurt. It took me fifteen minutes to do this. I want Florida. T_T

ceilingfan41 @ 2006-01-06T23:46:00

2006-01-07T04:46:33Z

Mom just lost her shower gel, but i found it...she has this thing against all things rasberry, including anti-perspirant, but she doesn't mind cucumber melon...(odd). She also obviously doesn't know the difference between Jesse McCartney and Aaron Carter...*sad* My mom is stupid. (no offense mom)

So...Pokemon Emerald is...AWESOME...it is...almost unable to describe. Almost.

The Click Five is on tv right now. Pfft...one hit wonder. Band members are pretty hot though. *sorry Mike*

Now...the Veronicas. They're...weird.

*waves* Night!

ceilingfan41 @ 2006-01-05T19:08:00

2006-01-06T00:13:53Z

So...making twice-baked potatoes...*yum**rubs tummy* They take too long though, i want them now.

I'm not talking to Aleck because he told his brother about me and chris, and now his brother has all sorts of obscene names to call me. Yay.

Talking to Mike...

Hard to type with one hand...T_T can't multi-task.

ceilingfan41 @ 2005-12-18T22:16:00

2005-12-19T03:17:37Z

Everybody go, the party's over
I want to be alone in my head, in my bed tonight
You never show
You must really love her
You think I don't know but I do, yeah it's true
I think over is over
I'm right back where I started when it comes to wanting you
I can't have what I wanted

But I did, I can, I was, I am only human, living, dying
Just like any fool who ever breathed
If love is blind, if love's a drug, it always is, it always was
>And love was surely made for fools like me<
I know where I'm going
I'm tripping I'm sliding around
That's ok, at least I'm excited
It wasn't how I planned it, wasn't how I planned it
Feet are where I landed
At least I understand it now
My feet are where I landed
Feet are staying on the ground

But I did, I can, I was, I am only human, living, dying
Just like any fool who ever breathed
If love is blind, if love's a drug, it always is, it always was
And love was surely made for fools like me
Fools like me, fools like me
I did, I can, I was, I am only human, living, dying
Just like any fool who ever breathed

Maybe it's the sanest thing
Or just the sweetest kind of dream
But love was surely made for fools
Love was surely made for fools, love was surely made for fools
Love was surely made for fools, love was surely made for fools like me

Daphne Loves Derby- Hopeless Love

2005-12-18T13:28:23Z

miles away from home
200 miles beneath this lake is where my heart belongs
But you don't care at all
You wouldn't even smile if I were screaming as the water filled my lungs, oh my lungs
You demand to be chased for your love
My desperate heart is far too weak to run for you this long
But you don't care at all
There's nothing I can do to draw you close to me
Can you take this silence like a pill so I can breathe again
I've been trying to ignore the best parts of you
But I'm still hoping that I'll be with you somehow, somehow
Please be home tonight
I'll die if I don't get a chance to make this just right
I'm sorry but I can't forget about the way I feel
Every time you're here.
What would it take for me to be with you
I swear I'd rip my heart out if you said you'd be impressed, please be impressed
I'd go so far to please you but I bet you wouldn't care at all, oh at all
Hopeless love please leave me
This broken heart is far too weak to run for you this long
Why don't you care at all?
I'm dying for a place in your heart.
Can you take this silence like a pill so I can breathe again
I've been trying to ignore the best parts of you
But I'm still hoping that I'll be with you somehow, somehow
Please be home tonight
I'll die if I don't get a chance to make this just right
I'm sorry but I can't forget about the way I feel
Every time you're here.
Hopeless love, why did you carve your home in me?
This broken heart is too weak to hold your weight
And now I regret the day we met
And help me forget your name.

ceilingfan41 @ 2005-11-20T19:42:00

2005-11-21T00:46:13Z

tears pour down
can you take it
always unheard
always faceless

i won't start it this time
it isn't my fault this time

and i'm ready for my downfall
this time you can have it all
it's time to lose
for you i'd lose it all
me against the people
and i think i can take it

see me
when the light shines down
and the glimmer of tears is clearly visible
see me
when i crumple and fall
without you there to hold me up
see me

this is it
i see it now
and i shake as i break
into a thousand pieces

i won't start it this time
it isn't my fault this time

and i'm ready for my downfall
this time you can have it all
it's time to lose
for you i'd lose it all
me against the people
and i think i can take it

and i listen to the silence
ditched again by 'best friends'
you think that i'm brilliant
i know that i'm not
everybody loves a winner
nobody loves a loser

poem 2
she looks at her reflection
and tries to break the mirror
she fails yet again (every time)
her hand stopped by the image
of her face and hate mixing
she can't stand seeing herself anymore

she goes back to bed
she tries to sleep it off
but images haunt her (every night)
her life caught in time
everyday the same signs
shaking, sweating, she'll stay this way forever

she tells the picture
"You know you broke me
but you didn't know,
you'll never know how much i hurt."

she can't stand the sunlight
she can't stand the dark night
she screams into the emptiness (every day)
she can't go out in public
she doesn't want to show it
her mind feels like it's too obvious

she hates being the center of attention
it makes her feel like she has something to prove
and the disappointed faces kill her inside (every look, every stare)
every night she cries
every night she dies
the marks on her wrists can't hide all the time

So, I cut my hair today. Exciting, right?

I don't really feel good mentally. I dunno. Just...a lot of shit is happening right now. Kat knows it all. *huggles kitty for being so supportive*

I love you guys.

ceilingfan41 @ 2005-11-13T19:45:00

2005-11-14T00:45:43Z

TEN random things about me::
10. I <3 Matt-ness
9. Pokemon rocks my socks
8. I need pasta…all the time…
7. Camp is uber-ness
6. I’m from the sunshine state, where it’s warm and there’s no snow!
5. The movie ‘Volcano’ gives me nightmares.
4. I live with five people and only one is a sibling T_T.
3. I hate myspace.
2. I <3 LJ.
1. I have uber-bad luck with electronics.

NINE ways to win my heart::
9. Hugs!
8. Writing me notes. I <3 Notes
7. Gah…this is hard.
6. Candy. Nerds.
5. Wearing eyeliner.
4. Hats!
3. Not liking NASCAR.
2. Admit that you like little kids things.
1. Hair….take good care of it.

EIGHT of my favorite items in my bedroom::
8. Meh CD player
7. My kitty
6. My sketchbook
5. My dresser
4. My paints
3. Broken TV set (it so pretty)
2. Books!
1. My bed (technically my mothers bed)

SEVEN things I don't like::
7. Assholes. Concept.
6. People talking about you behind your back when they know you can hear
5. Bad hair
4. Most guys
3. Dirty houses
2. Little brothers
1. Homework (really don’t like homework)

SIX CDs in my collection::
6. BFS- Drunk Enough To Dance
5. FOB- From under the cork tree
4. Good Charlotte-Good Charlotte
3. Linkin Park- Meteora
2. The Used- In Love And Death
1. 1

FIVE things I'm afraid of::
5. Spiders
4. Guys
3. Couples
2. Love
1. Laundry

FOUR things I want to do before I die::
4. Visit Japan
3. See Gio
2. See Matt
1. Go to College

THREE things I'm trying not to do right now::
3. Take too long on the computer
2. Piss people off
1. The Dishes

TWO people who love me::
2. Matt
1. Kitty

ONE thing I would change about myself::
1. My hair (which I do)